A month of daily drawing – done! I almost can't believe it! Looking back, it was just as hard to keep up with the prompts and just as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Having completed only two weeks of Inktober 2019, I didn't think I would participate in Inktober 2020. But now that I'm successfully standing on the other side of drawing 31 pieces of art, I must say that I feel accomplished.

Fulfilment > Theme

I started off Inktober with the intention of getting better at figure drawing. I really enjoyed drawing hands and feet, something I already knew I was good at. I realised anew that while I may not be confident about drawing from memory, I was definitely more than able to look at a picture/ still life and draw a version that looked very close to the real thing.😊

I soon got tired of this theme though. I struggled with the idea of abandoning figure drawing and continuing the challenge with another theme (or no theme even). By doing so, I didn't want it to seem like I gave up and had failed. There was an added worry that my followers would judge me for not keeping to the theme I started off with. Thankfully, I quickly realised that by adding restrictive self-imposed guidelines, I was only limiting myself. I got the most out of figure drawing in the first week and knew that my mind wanted to move on. It took a bit of effort, but I managed to tell myself that if I didn't feel inspired and didn't enjoy what I was drawing, it'd automatically show in the artwork and that'd be enough for me to harshly judge myself. And I was sure I didn't want to walk down that path of self-criticism.

Engagement directly proportional to self-worth

Interaction

Posting everyday for 31 days really showed me how much engagement numbers can do for my account's visibility. I gained 3 followers in a month and my best engagement number for the month was in the 500's. I know it's not a lot, but for someone who sporadically posted on Instagram until now, seeing the numbers that regular posting brought up were heartening.

hashtags and other things

Let me tell you this... I HATE hashtags! I am well aware of the purpose and use of hashtags, but it doesn't stop me from disliking them. 😑 It was a real struggle to post my artwork with a mix of hashtags that'd get me noticed. There are so many moving parts to getting a post noticed it boggles my mind! Long captions, short captions, tagging accounts, mixing hashtags, making Reels even...it's endless! Somewhere close to the last week of October, my posts did quite badly. That's when I heard a rumour about Instagram disabling hashtags as we drew close to the US election day. I am not sure if I should attribute the low engagement to this rumour but, I mean, WTF!

Takeaways from Inktober

First, the good stuff

The challenge wasn't ALL bad. There are some good takeaways from Inktober 2020 that I can list here with confidence:

1. I can draw! 😁: I mean, yes, I always knew this. But to see what my mind was capable of achieving when I was feeling inspired was eye opening!

2. Identifying my threshold: Close to the middle of week three, I started to experience burnout. I didn't want to drop the challenge and wanted to see it through till the end. But, at the same time I knew that there was no point in pushing myself to create if I didn't feel like it.

3. Giving myself permission to take a break: I read a lot of posts saying that completing the challenge and posting everyday wasn't the intention. And I agree with this (to a degree). When I thought daily drawing was too much to handle alongside scheduled work, I gave myself the permission to step back from my art book and pens to take a breather. I won't say that there was zero negative chatter, but the breaks allowed the critical voice in my head to grow softer.

Then, the not so good stuff

While I tried very hard not to chew on the engagement numbers of my artwork on the platform, it was difficult not to let a low performing post affect me. Why didn't this post do better than the other...I thought my interpretation of the prompt(s) was intuitive? Is it because my drawing stinks? 😑

In a field where visibility is everything, I was floundering to get my artwork noticed. Of course, I was mindful about the sheer vastness of content out on the platform. But it still didn't stop me from feeling sad and on some days anxious. I hate that I was seeking validation from the internet. There is nothing to be achieved by it, but at the same time how not to place hope?

All in all it was an interesting experience. Throughout the challenge, I was consciously monitoring my feelings and thought processes as I took on each prompt. Well aware that I didn't want the challenge to become a burden I couldn't wait to shrug off, I attempted to maintain a rhythm that I felt comfortable with.

Will I sign-up for another month long challenge? I don't know. I'm still gathering my bearings post Inktober. Who knows what the future holds anyway?